I often struggle to make myself heard effectively. There are times when I know something isn’t right or have a better understanding or plan, but I fail to express myself because something or someone holds me back. Recognizing this issue, I decided to explore ways to make myself heard and came across some interesting theories that I believe are worth sharing. These theories focus on communication, discourse, power dynamics, and the ethics of dialogue.

Before diving into the theories, I want to mention that most of them emphasize creating a level playing field where everyone’s voice is heard. However, in situations where one person always gets to lead because they’re the loudest or the tallest (as in Foucault’s Discourse and Power), what can you do? That’s the focus here:

Socratic Method

As the name suggests, the idea coined by Socrates involves participants engaging in questioning and critical discussion to reach a deeper understanding. It’s like playing a game where you ask lots of questions. For example, if someone says, ‘Let’s play hide and seek,’ you might ask, ‘Why do you like hide and seek?’ or ‘What’s your favorite part of hide and seek?’ By asking these questions, everyone begins to think more deeply about their ideas, and together you can find the best choice. This approach shifts the focus to the loudest or tallest person and gives you a chance to understand them better. In my experience, it does two things: 1) It makes them nervous, as they realize there might be someone in the room with better ideas, making them feel like the imposter in the imposter syndrome. 2) It helps you step into their shoes and gain a clearer understanding of the situation.

Linguistic Pragmatism

Philosophers like John Dewey and Richard Rorty advocate for a pragmatic approach to communication, where the success of being heard is measured by the impact of the communication. This approach is like using the best words to explain your idea so that everyone understands. For example, if you say, ‘Let’s play hide and seek because it’s fun to hide,’ and someone else responds, ‘But I like tag because we get to run,’ you might try to explain your reasoning more clearly or use different words to help everyone understand your perspective. The goal is to make sure your idea is communicated clearly so that everyone understands why it matters to you.

Now, there are some other theories that can be used more extensively, but you’ll need to be vigilant about yourself at times—

Hegelian Dialectic

The Hegelian Dialectic, introduced by Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, is a method of argument that involves a dialogue between opposing viewpoints (thesis and antithesis) to reach a higher understanding (synthesis). Imagine you and a friend have different ideas—one of you wants to play tag, and the other wants to play hide and seek. You both discuss why your game is fun, and then together, you come up with a new game that combines elements of both. This way, everyone feels heard, and you create something even better together. In my experience, this approach is effective because presenting an opposing idea encourages healthy competition and leads to a more thoughtful outcome.

Active Listening (Carl Rogers)

Carl Rogers, a humanistic psychologist, emphasized the importance of active listening in communication. Imagine you really listen when your friends talk, nodding your head and asking questions. When it’s your turn to speak, your friends will want to listen to you too because you showed them how to listen. It’s like taking turns being really good listeners!

By employing these theories, you can enhance your ability to make yourself heard and ensure that your ideas are communicated effectively. Embracing methods like Socratic questioning, linguistic pragmatism, and active listening can create a more inclusive and thoughtful dialogue.